It's not 2010 anymore.

October 16, 2010.  That's the date on the last post.

Today is July 22, 2016.  Lots of time has passed, and many things have changed.

One question still remains;

Am I a chef yet?
No, but yes.
Why not?
Of course!
We all are

My first reaction to that question is a quick no.  It's an easy way out of a difficult situation, because looking within and labeling one's self is a very selfish thing to do.  Selfishness is another topic for a little later.

Even now, when so many look up to me, expect answers from me, demand direction from me, I have a hard time calling myself a chef, but the term is becoming more familiar to me.

Eight years ago, I saw the term "chef" as somewhat esoteric.  I saw it as a label for television celebrities, owners of high-end fine dining establishments and leaders of huge hotel and cruise line kitchen staffs.  I had a hard time calling the guy cooking some french fries in a bar at 3am a "chef".

Building a Craft
Finding what i'm good at
finding what i enjoy
working with people I enjoy
Creating an environment that I enjoy
Hoping other people (customers enjoy that)

A lot has changed in eight years.  I have cooked so many things.  Even when i'm not cooking i'm thinking about how things I see in my everyday life relate to my craft.  Cooking is part of my craft, but my craft has come to encapsulate so many different duties and responsibilities.

Linear vs. Deviation
TFL->ad hoc
fine dining to comfort food
beer!
beer and food
wine
learning about creating an experience - has not gone away
stuggling with margins and keeping costs happy
managing (directing?) people

Some days go by and I feel that there has been very little direction to my life and that bothers me.  And then there's days I wake up and love the amount of improvisation I am capable of doing in my day to day life, and realize that having that freedom and doing that kind of improvisation is part of my success, and I don't get to do it by accident, I have built that into my craft.

My Team
I never thought I would say that.  Even just a few months ago I didn't think I was going to have that as a topic I want to enjoy.

-What are we trying to create today?
-What am I trying to create today?

I still struggle with that, but

 And being a cook for eight years by no means makes me a chef.

But isn't food fun?

Call me Neil.

I haven't posted on here in a long time, and I think that's for a lot of reasons. But first, I want to get back to the main question here; Am I a chef yet?

I have been called a chef on numerous occasions, (here's a good one!) but I don't feel like one. Whenever someone calls me 'chef' I will very quickly correct them, asking them to call me Neil. I didn't really realize it as it was happening, but over the past year and a half, I think that has become one of my legacies. I'm a cook, and I always will be.

No matter what anyone says, i'm still an archaeologist, i'm still a trombone player, i'm still a kid that grew up in Connecticut and spent his summers on a cattle ranch in Oregon. I'm still all these things, and I always will be. What will I be in the future? I don't know exactly, but I have a few things that I know I would like to be. One thing for sure that I would like to be is a person that supports the people around me, whether it be friends, family, coworkers, or strangers. Basically, if someone has a question or needs help, I want to do everything I can to help.

Ad Hoc has been incredible, and now I am in the process of moving on to the next adventure. A lot of people have been asking me what I'm doing next, and the answer is; I am going to cook.

I love to cook. Some people tell you that if you love to cook, don't do it professionally because you won't like it anymore. This didn't happen to me. All i've been doing for the last two years is cooking. When I wasn't at work (Ad Hoc) I was cooking four course dinners with beer pairings with a friend at Mission Gastroclub. All I've wanted to do is cook, and try new things, and just make really good food that hopefully people will enjoy, because I enjoy making it.

This all feels really weird, telling everyone what's on my mind, but a lot of people are asking, and I guess that's what a blog is for: telling. So right now I'm looking for a cooking job somewhere in the San Francisco Bay area. Of the ten places i've lived and numerous places i've visited in the 28 years of my life, this is definitely one of my favorite, and the environment is incredible. I am so happy here, and i'm making a living here.

Ad Hoc

This blog has taken a back seat in my life for the past few months beacuse I feel like I have finally achieved my goal.

I finished my three months at The French Laundry on the last day of February, and on the first day of March, I started working at Ad Hoc. In some ways, ad hoc is exactly the same as The French Laundry. Every day we do a different menu. At ad hoc we have a set menu, but ours is four courses, whereas at The French Laundry the menu is anywhere from 9-20 courses. Ad hoc is different because everyone eats the same thing, which is so incredible. It's like home; we serve all four courses family style, so everyone at the table can serve each other. But we still put every bit of detail into producing the best tasting food that every chef at The French Laundry will put into their food.

I am so happy to be a part of ad hoc. On my first day, I was pushed harder than I ever was at The French Laundry. This was partly because I had more responsibilites at ad hoc, but this was also because I felt like I was part of something, finally.

I will continue to talk about this place over and over again (ad hoc) because it means so much to me. I am so incredibly happy that I work at this restaurant. We do such incredible things every day. We push ourselves harder than we did the day before, making every day the best ever. My chef has a phrase, "Be better than history today". It's simple, but it means so much.

When I decided I wanted to cook, I wanted to cook the best food possible; I wanted to create something incredible every day; something completely new and awesome yet completely approachable. I dreamed that I would someday be able to create history, and now i'm doing it, and i'm so happy because of it.

For the first month, I was in charge of plating the cheese course and the dessert course. This was really hard for me, I was not used to serving people wish such urgency, and I was not very good in the beginning. I knew I had to push myself really hard every day, but only in the last few weeks have I really understood what that meant. I'm starting to understand, and it's still really hard work, but so incredibly rewarding. To be able to say that I create something people can sit back and look at in awe is so incredible. I'm using the word 'incredible' so much because that's what it feels like to me.

Before we open the doors to let customers in, everyone in the kitchen makes a tester plate so the whole restaurant can taste the menu of the night. The whole kitchen staff and the whole dining room staff stand around and talk about the menu. We in the kitchen talk about why we made things the way we made them, and the dining room staff can ask any questions they want about the menu. We embrace it so the customers can feel how important everything is to everyone in the restaurant.

Today, for the first time ever, I was involved with the main course. I was given the chance to cook the steaks. Tonight we did a steakhouse theme. For the first course we did a baby iceberg and watercress salad with easter egg radishes sliced very thing, baby red beets, brioche crutons and bacon with a herb cream dressing on the side. A very simple, bright, sweet, crunchy salad. The main course was an 18oz bone-in ribeye steak. It was a beautiful piece of meat. When I served it, I told the chef that if my grandpa saw that steak he would be proud. The steak was served with sauteed red potatoes, oyster, beech and maitake mushrooms, and asparagus with an tomato confit vinaigrette. The cheese course was a tasting of three different cheeses; local camembert, as well as cow and sheep's milk cheese with a side of endive sald with pickled haricots verts and toasted almonds. The dessert was strawberry shortcake with local macerated straweberries and chantilly cream.

No one should leave ad hoc hungry, and this is for a lot of reasons. If a customer came in tonight and told us they didn't eat red meat, that wouldn't be a problem. We are here to serve you! No one should ever come to ad hoc and accomodate themself for us. It is my purpose to accomodate you! We had fresh ivory salmon cooked to perfection to order. Say you are vegetarian, or even vegan; we will accomodate you! We can give you a special plate just for you. We will even give you a substitute for the cheese and dessert. Ad hoc is more than just the food; it's an experience. We will do everything in our power to give you the best experience you will not forget. I mean it.